Watch collecting is a hobby defined by categorization.
I refer not only to the different types of watches or complications - dive, pilot, chronographs, minute repeaters - though those too. In fact, I mean that the watch community is filled with different categories of collectors. Even the most eclectic watch collectors can identify with a certain tribe of collectors who, even if you don't collect exactly the same watches, definitely understand each other.
So we asked our community on Instagram: imagine you're back in school and the lunch bell rang. But now you're faced with a difficult choice. Which table in the cafeteria will you choose? Which watch group do you hang out with at school?
Attendance Check
For each of the four groups we identified, we provided three examples of watches that we believe belong to these groups: Patek Philippe Calatrava, Omega Speedmaster Professional Moonwatch, and Patek Philippe Nautilus 5711 - for the "icons"; TAG Heuer Glassbox Carrera Chronosprint, Tudor Pelagos FXD, and IWC Ingenieur - for the "athletes"; Longines Legend Diver, Rolex Explorer, and Tudor Black Bay 54 - for the "everyday drivers"; and Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso, Universal Geneve Polerouter, and Zenith El Primero A384 - for the "old timers".
Commenters interpreted this question in two ways. Firstly, as "Which of these three-watch collections would you prefer?", and also as "Which broader tribe of collectors do you belong to?" In my opinion, both interpretations are valid. Of course, these categories overlap considerably: no one would argue that the Rolex Explorer can't easily take a seat at the table of athletes and icons, as well as everyday drivers, for instance (possibly even old timers, if you choose the 1016).
Icons
Naturally, a large part of our community wants to sit with the icons - and this makes sense. Every collection should feature some classics of the genre: whether it's the integrated sports watches of the Holy Trinity or a chronograph famous in pop culture - great names will always be in demand.
However, this comment by @1moregaryfrank amused me: "I remember my school days in the UK when I couldn't decide if I wanted to sit with the Patek Philippe kids or not. It was always a dilemma." Very funny. I admit, this is a very affluent hypothetical school.
Athletes
While dress watches have certainly not gone out of style, the reality is that sports watches rule these days. Yet surprisingly few commenters want to sit with the athletes. Perhaps it's due to school traumas, perhaps because the three watch models we proposed weren't quite the trio some would have preferred, or maybe because people prefer to be iconic rather than sporty…
Whatever the reason, this was the loneliest table, or at least the one people couldn't fully commit to. Still, I liked @robert_van_barneveld's comment: "For the first time in my sporting life, I can be part of the athletes' team. Cool." Go, desk divers!
Everyday Drivers
Not all of us peaked in high school: some prefer to stay in the shadows, having reliable everyday cars (though @kmkartashoff noted that everyday cars are often "essentially old iconic athletes" - maybe these watches are just the B team?)
Here's one of my favorite comments, left by @bearskinsky: "I'm at the table for drivers who drive daily, talking about the badges - "they think they're so hot!" and the athletes - "they think they're so cool!"".
Old Timers
Maybe we should have called this table "old at heart". No matter. Many definitely wanted to sit at this table, and I don't blame them: collecting vintage watches is a special pleasure, and I think we picked three fantastic watch models to represent this part of the watch community.
Many of our readers associate themselves with "old timers" not so much because of the watches they want, but because of their age. I believe that with age comes wisdom (and hopefully enough money to start collecting Reverso…) There are also those who like vintage but prefer to wear modern revived watches.
Other Cliques
We also had some great suggestions for other watch groups that we didn't provide an option to choose. Chief among them was the "geek", though there were variations on this theme: some brands suggested included (Grand) Seiko, Citizen, and Casio at the lower end, and MB&F, F.P. Journe, and Greubel Forsey at the high end (thanks @jeanclaude.beaver). Maybe it's one of those cases where it's good to hang out with the geeks in high school because they end up being successful.
@consistent_gent also suggested the "military" (or should this be a school cadet unit?) - Casio, G-SHOCK, Timex, and Garmin, while @thenotoriuosbg suggested considering the "artsy folks… I see Cartier standing in the front row with two other slightly obscure but not too unusual watches". Buffy will be glad to know that @time4nothing also suggested "the goths".
Going beyond the school metaphor, Britt Pearce, aka @watch.gringa, made another notable remark: "It's all about the rich wives in Serpentis. These girls are the best time!" Although personally, I don't fancy trinkets and have wrists too big to wear anything close to femininity, I definitely agree that collecting jewelry watches brings undeniable joy.
Loners
Finally, there were a few people who don't feel they belong to any cliques - and that's perfectly valid too! "I sit at my own table with Sinn," says @steelman1999 (maybe you should socialize with the drivers?), "I'll have to avoid the cafeteria," echoes @mr.spaceman24, while "Did Lange homeschool?" asks @the_left_hand_man (clearly the class clown).
"I'll be at the table of misfits," @goonfather says, "the oddballs who don't fit into any specific category, but they're my team!" Power to the misfits, I say.